


You soon find you have few choices

by Fullsizecandy



Series: Rare is this love [2]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Missing Scene, No Beta, No real romance in this, can i tag hozier in this?, just my favorite brotp lu and linda, s02xe07 my little monkey, some foreshadowing of deckerstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:40:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25601479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fullsizecandy/pseuds/Fullsizecandy
Summary: Linda Martin was an intelligent woman.She was proud of herself, of the way she used her common sense and reason. That's what made her a good therapist. But all of the common sense and intelligence couldn't help her with this patient.She was a therapist to the Devil.The actual Devil.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Linda Martin & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Series: Rare is this love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852087
Comments: 7
Kudos: 102





	You soon find you have few choices

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on what happened between Lucifer showing Linda his face and them working together again. It's a part of series I'm working on, the next one will have more Deckerstar in it, but I really needed to get this out of my brain. The song is "Arsonist's Lullabye" by Hozier. English is not my first language and any mistakes are my own.

Linda Martin was an intelligent woman. 

She was proud of herself, of the way she used her common sense and reason. That's what made her a good therapist. But all of the common sense and intelligence couldn't help her with this patient.

She was a therapist to  _ the Devil. _

_The actual Devil._

When she first met Lucifer, she thought he had a dissociative identity disorder. That was her initial diagnosis, but after spending some time with him, she realized she'd been wrong. 

He showed no signs of multiple personalities, other than thinking that he was the Devil, but that wasn't enough. She never saw him switch between identity fragments, not once. He was just a man actively believing in being the actual Devil. 

So she changed her diagnosis to schizophrenia. It checked out. He obviously was suffering from delusions, believing in being Satan himself, he had issues with expressing his emotions, and most times he was experiencing jumbled thoughts. 

It wasn't a diagnosis she was satisfied with, but it made some sense. She could always change it once he opened up more, but she needed something to start the treatment. 

He refused medication, saying that their conversations were enough. She didn't agree with him, but couldn't force him and knew that forcing him to take meds wouldn't do anything to help him. It had to be his choice. 

And so they settled. He would come in for their appointments (or completely unannounced) and they'd talk. She tried to make sense of his elaborate metaphors and slowly but surely, she started to get to the root of his problems. 

Abuse and self-hatred. 

He was abused by his family for (as he would describe it) eons. They put him through Hell (or according to him, his father put him in the actual Hell), all because he wanted free will. 

His whole life was an intricate web of illusions sheltering him from years of injustice and somehow she was the one he'd picked to make sense of it all.

Linda tried. She tried so hard to get past the metaphors and lies... No, not lies. She strongly believed he'd never lied to her. Still, she didn't know if it was a point of pride or if he was convinced that lying was impossible for him. 

She spent countless nights going through her notes from their sessions, trying to find some sense in his babbling. Hours and stacks of papers filled with theories, analyzing this broken man. And still, she couldn't understand. She couldn't find a diagnosis that would satisfy her. Something was missing. 

She tried rationalizing with him. I didn't work. 

She tried buying into his illusions. That didn't work either.

He was opening up, but she didn't believe him and he knew it. 

Still, he continued seeing her and she had a feeling she was helping him somehow. 

He acted like he didn't understand human emotions. It was something out of his reach, confusing him and he desperately needed her to help him understand. 

She tried her best, she really did. But then his brother died and it all went to shit. 

He showed her his _face_ and Linda, for the first time, felt like the dumbest person on Earth.

The first days passed in a haze. 

She canceled all of her sessions and spent some time bunkered in her home. She was too afraid to even step a foot outside of the safety of her house. 

Lucifer called. Every time he did, she forgot how to breathe. 

It's not like she believed in God, Hell, all of that. She hoped that people get what they deserve after they die, but never gave it much more thought. 

Lucifer ripped her soul in two and made her terrified of the world. 

What was she supposed to do? 

Her most fascinating patient was The Devil. She had sex with him. 

And her best friend, Maze... Maze was a _demon_. 

Linda stayed home and drank herself to sleep. 

She installed locks on her doors, spent a small fortune on them. 

After she finished, she realized that they're not going to keep the Devil out. What a stupid, human idea. 

She started seeing her patients again, apologizing to all of them, blaming her absence on a family emergency. What else could she say? " _Sorry I was ignoring you and your issues. Nothing really matters because the Devil is walking the Earth and I'm pretty sure we're all gonna die and Apocalypse is coming"_? She's seen too many horror movies. 

She was fine. Everything was okay. If she didn't think about it, she could pretend that nothing's happened and she was still the same Linda Martin.

Then Maze came to see her and the fear came with her. 

She was a demon. An _actual_ , forged in Hell, made by Lucifer, human torturing demon. How was Linda supposed to handle that? 

She didn't. She told her to leave, her insides hurting at the pain on Maze's face. Handling supernatural creatures was not a part of her job description. 

She read. She went to libraries, searched online, went to churches. It didn't help. Everything she learned only told her that Lucifer was this big, bad evil tempting everyone, a monster destroying peoples' lives. 

What a load of bullshit. She knew Lucifer, she was his therapist. He was not the person the books and religion were describing. 

Maze visited her again and called her a friend. A demon, calling her a friend. 

_A demon came to see a therapist..._ Sounded like the start of a bad joke.

But she respected the locks, didn't try to break in, instead just slipped her a check, sounding proud of herself. Linda was proud of her too. 

Bounty hunter. The job sounded perfect for Maze. 

So she took a risk. Opened the locks and looked at her friend, still terrified. Before she knew it, she was in a car with a demon _(don't think about it)_ , driving to a club. The devil-owned nightclub. 

She was drunk. 

The lights were all fuzzy and she couldn't focus her mind on one single thing. She knew that was Maze's idea - to make her drink until she can't think of how drastically her life changed and what her existence meant. 

She didn't even realize when Chloe and Ella showed up. 

"So... why are we drinking? Don't get me wrong, I'll always show up for a Tribe Night but you look like you're working through some stuff.", Ella said, downing one of the shots lined up on the bar. 

Linda didn't know what to say. The therapy was confidential. She couldn't tell them anything and besides, even if she did, they wouldn't believe her.

_Lucifer is the real deal and we've all been ignoring him because he sounds like a delusional man?_

She diagnosed him with schizophrenia for God's sake. 

She should probably stop saying "God" so much, right?

"It's Lucifer, right?", Chloe looked at her and Linda almost got whiplash from moving her head so quickly.

"What?", she yelled, hearing the blood flowing in her ears. "Why would you say that?"

Chloe squinted her eyes and Linda knew she was completely fucked. Chloe interviewed people for life, of course, she would notice every little thing.

"He just mentioned that he'd broken his therapist. I'm assuming he told you something and you're working through it. Don't worry, we all know about patient-doctor confidentiality."

"Yeah, Linda. No pressure", added Ella. "Drink away, girl. Nothing better than tequila to help you work through your issues, right?", as she said it, she bumped her shot glass into Maze's, both of them taking their shots. 

"And he won't bother you anyway. He already thinks he scared you off completely so he's brooding alone. I don't even know if he's going to leave his penthouse tonight.", the demon _(Maze, it's just Maze, your friend)_ shoved another shot into her hand. 

Okay. Okay. She could do this. She could pretend she was having normal Tribe Night, with normal women in a club owned by a normal man. 

It would work. 

And then the elevator door opened, Lucifer strutted onto the dancefloor and she was terrified again. 

To a normal eye, Linda knew he looked completely normal. But she _knew_. She knew about the burnt, red skin, glowing eyes, how completely terrifying he looked.

"Is this... a charm or something? Some kind of magic?", she whispered to Maze, hoping she would know what she meant. 

Maze just laughed. 

"You humans with your one and only face. No, it's not magic, Linda. This is him. The devil's face is also him. All of that is him. He's the Devil but he's also the same old Lucifer you've been fucking. Nothing's changed."

"Wait, what?", Ella's voice almost made Linda jump out of her seat. "Did I hear that correctly? You and Lucifer...?"

"Had sex?", Linda interrupted her. "Yup."

"Isn't that...?"

"Highly inappropriate? Yup."

"Huh. Okay girl, no judgment." 

They ordered more shots and Linda knew her wallet would become significantly thinner after this night out. 

"Here you go, Doctor.", the bartender placed another tray in front of her and she scrambled for her purse. "Oh, no. The Tribe doesn't pay. Boss's orders."

He pulled out a list from behind the bar and they all looked at it. Somehow, Lucifer found all of their ID pictures and printed them out with their names. _Tribe girls' drinks are on the house ALWAYS_ , was written above their pictures. 

They all rolled their eyes but accepted the alcohol anyway. 

"Dude, that's sick! Free drinks whenever we want to? I love Lucifer!"

Linda loved how optimistic Ella was. It always made their nights better. 

"But you know that's not okay, Ella. We need to at least leave a big tip.", said Chloe already looking around for the tip jar. 

Linda took the time to draw a deep breath and Maze noticed. 

"He's at his piano if you want to look.", she whispered into her ear. "He looks human so it shouldn't scare you much."

Linda nodded. She wanted to look, really. Maybe if she could do this on her own terms, then it would be easier to work through the rest of the crazy things she knew about him. 

Slowly, she moved her head and looked at the piano first, not daring to lay her eyes on Lucifer, scared that he would be looking at her too. 

His piano was a beauty, always clean, even though it was a centerpiece in the nightclub. No one but him was allowed to touch it, he mentioned that once during their session. 

_"There's no music in Hell, Doctor. I deeply value every instrument I own."_

Back then, she thought his Father kept him locked up somewhere, didn't allow him to play. 

She wasn't entirely wrong.

She finally looked at him and relaxed visibly when she noticed he wasn't looking at anyone. His head was hanging low, eyes set on the piano keys. 

Even drunk, her mind started to analyze him. 

She was pretty sure he wasn't getting ready to play. He was just sitting there, brooding, just like Maze had said. 

People were looking at him too. He usually sang at the club, almost every night he was there, throwing a performance for his patrons. 

Linda knew he loved the attention, he thrived off of it. He didn't seem in the mood for it tonight. 

She took another shot when Chloe bumped her shoulder, handing her a small glass. They chatted about everything and nothing for a while, Chloe talking about her last case, her dad, Ella ogling men in the club, Maze taking shot after a shot. 

_Demon metabolism_ , Linda thought. It made sense now why both she and Lucifer drank so much. 

She looked at Lucifer again and he was holding a... guitar? 

She must've had looked confused because Chloe saw her face and followed the direction of her gaze. 

"Oh, yeah. He plays the guitar too. Told me he can play any instrument, but I'm sure it's just one of his "devil" things, you know?"

Linda laughed panicked. 

What else could he do?!

The guests in his club went quiet as he slowly made his way to the center, stopping for a second to pull a chair with him. 

He started playing and she's never heard Lux so quiet before. People either sat down or stood in the corners. Even bartenders stopped pouring drinks, taking a well-deserved break. 

His humming filled the air and she felt the all familiar tingle of fear again. How was it possible that just his voice alone could awake some primal dread deep inside her?

_"When I was a child, I heard voices. Some would sing and some would scream. You soon find you have few choices. I learned the voices died with me. When I was a child, I'd sit for hours Staring into open flame. Something in it had a power Could barely tear my eyes away."_

"Of course he brought brooding here with him. And I was hoping for a good time.", Linda heard Maze scoffing quietly. 

_"All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach._

_Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep them on a leash."_

He started humming again and she started patting her pockets. Where was a pen when she needed one?!

She threw the contents of her purse onto the bar finally finding her favorite pen. She snatched a napkin and looked straight at Lucifer. He was looking at her and his eyes were so human. _He_ looked human. 

_"When I was sixteen, my senses fooled me. Thought gasoline was on my clothes. I knew that something would always rule me I knew this scent was mine alone."_

_Sixteen?_ she wrote down, _do angels grow up like humans?_

"They don't.", Maze whispered. "They're created. He's never been a kid, Doctor".

"Then why...? Oh.", he was doing it for her. It was all a metaphor so Linda would be able to process what he was trying to say. Smart.

She crossed off "sixteen" and instead wrote down _gasoline= fall? Hell? scent?_

_"When I was a man, I thought it ended When I knew love's perfect ache._

_But my peace has always depended On all the ashes in my wake._ "

She took another napkin, already filling out the previous one. 

_love=chloe? ashes= self- destr. thoughts and actions? follow during next appt_

That's when she caught herself. She was already analyzing this man again, already getting ready for another therapy session. 

A therapy session with the Devil. She must be crazy. 

_"All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach._

_Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep them on a leash."_

She shoved her belongings and the napkins into her purse. 

She was still afraid but now she had questions. Too many questions to just forget about Lucifer and move on. 

She made notes while he was singing a song for God... goodness sake. She needed to know more. 

He could be the most fascinating patient in her whole life. 

The most fascinating patient on the Earth. 

People clapped and that's what brought her back. She was still drunk, but her mind had a newfound clarity. 

Lucifer walked towards them and she could see he was hesitating. She nodded her head, barely. A human eye wouldn't catch it. But he wasn't human, was he? 

"Good evening ladies. I hope you're having a good time.", he said, his words slow, as if he was picking them carefully. 

"Thanks for the free drinks dude! You rock!"

Lucifer laughed. 

"You're quite welcome, Ms. Lopez. My home is yours, whenever you need it.", he ignored Ella's "aw, sweet" and looked between Linda and Chloe. 

Maze was still mad at him and both him and Linda could tell. 

"So... do you have any plans for the rest of the night?", he asked politely.

"Actually, "Linda said quickly, getting up. "I need to go."

Lucifer's smile fell from his face, his eyes hurt. 

"I need to get ready for our next session. Call me tomorrow, we'll pick a date and time.", she added, not wanting him to misunderstand her. 

He looked at her shocked, with a small hopeful smile forming on his lips.

"I will do that, Doctor. Please, take my driver. You're in no condition to drive yourself home."

She nodded and gathered her things hearing a low "Of course he has a driver" from Chloe. 

She said her goodbyes and left the club with him. 

"Are you... are you sure about this, Doctor?", he asked. " I know it's a lot and I don't want to..."

"You're still _my_ patient, Lucifer", she cut him sharply. "We'll figure it out."

She got into the car and closed her eyes. Of course, the driver knew her address. She wasn't even shocked at this point.

Linda Martin was an intelligent woman.

But sometimes common sense and reason have to be thrown out of the window if you wish to study the Devil himself.


End file.
